when i am not sure if i am loved

What I want is better than revenge and superior to indifference. I want to give you what you deserve; you deserve nothing less than my most sincere sympathy and my purest pity. When I look at myself, and when I question the very essence of my being, how I strive and struggle to be good is the only thing within me that I am proud of, and the only thing I can aspire to to make me glow, and to make me feel beautiful.